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Well it’s about that time of year again where we all gather together to regress back to the days when we used to be chronic alcoholics (unlike the responsible adults we are now) and show off our sports prowess by drinking aggressively and kicking a princess-themed rubber ball. Yes I am of course talking about The Official University of California, Santa Barbara Regents Sanctioned Alumni Sloshball Charity Tournament. The regents of the University of California on the nomination of the faculty at Santa Barbara have conferred upon all of us the right to hold a sloshball tournament with all the rights and privileges thereto pertaining occurring at Santa Barbara this twenty-eighth day of April in the year two thousand and eighteen.

Sloshball (/släSHbôl/) is a game played by an indeterminate amount of people who are all hell-bent on drinking to excess while displaying what can only be described as an exceptional amount of athleticism involving but not limited to: kicking, running, drinking, shouting, insulting, drinking, and drinking.

This is also is the best chance since Sloshball 2015 for Travis Martinus to get past second base so nobody screw this up for him.